Upon review of Spencer’s three essay revisions and considering the descriptors of a formal tone, Revision 2 demonstrates the most effective use of a formal writing style. A formal tone is characterized as serious, objective, and impartial. It conveys information to an audience in a serious manner without being overly casual or using conversational elements.
Revision 1 has a more informal tone that does not align well with the expectations of a school assignment. While the content is relevant and well developed, the presentation incorporates conversational elements that undermine the seriousness of tone needed for a formal paper. Use of first-person pronouns like “I” and contractions like “don’t” convey a more casual attitude. Word choice also has informal aspects, such as referring to historical figures by first name only which lacks proper scholarly respect. The presentation comes across as a conversational piece rather than a serious objective analysis.
Revisions 2 and 3 adopt a more serious scholarly approach through objective third-person narrative and formal language free of contractions and conversational elements. Of these two revisions, Revision 2 best exemplifies an impartial formal tone through balanced analysis of the topic. While Revision 3 maintains a serious tone, it shows subjective leanings through disproportionate emphasis placed on one side of the issue over the other. Maintaining an impartial stance is an important trait of a formal academic tone.
Revision 2 aligns with the key defining traits of a formal style through its presentation. The seriousness of tone comes across through the selection of formal academic vocabulary and sentence structure. Using words like “moreover”, “whereas”, and “examination” in place of more casual alternatives establishes a scholarly rigor. Objective third-person point of view also contributes to a serious impression as opposed to first-person informal language.
Detailing both sides of the argument equally without apparent bias demonstrates impartiality, another hallmark of formal academic writing. Revision 2 considers multiple perspectives in a balanced manner to provide a well-rounded analysis. In contrast, Revision 3 emphasizes one position over another, undermining its impartiality. An objective analysis welcomes opposing views rather than promoting a particular stance.
Formal writing also refrains from conversational elements that could diminish seriousness. Revision 2 adheres to this through proper grammar with no contractions or other informal features. Referring to historical figures with honorific titles like “President” maintains a respectful academic tone. In comparison, Revisions 1 and 3 include occasional contractions and refer to individuals in a more casual manner at times.
Revision 2 exemplifies an effective formal academic tone for this type of school assignment through its serious objective presentation, balanced analysis, formal language choices, and impartial analysis. It conveys the information to the audience in a serious scholarly manner expected of formal writing. While all essay options covered the topic sufficiently, Revision 2 aligns closest to producing a formal impression through its stylistic presentation. For these reasons, Revision 2 best meets the criteria of employing a formal tone from the options provided.